I kinda didn't expect it, but people actually really liked my writing! So I thought, well, why not write more? This piece was inspired by Ralph Waldo Emerson who said 'Earth laughs in flowers' (I actually don't know anything about the guy. I just saw his quote in my book Juicy Writing). Oh, and (unfortunately) I don't live in the city, but we used to, and it definitely wasn't that bad, but still. And I kinda made two stories, one from the point of view of a kid who lives in a polluted city, and one who lives in the peaceful country. But where the grass is actually green, unlike here.
Walking home from school. All I see is the colour gray-the the buildings, the gravel, even the sky is filled with smoke and pollution. If I look down, there's only litter. Gross. If I look up, I see the tops of buildings which look like they're about to crumble down. I look at the people around me-gloomy faces, or no expression at all. I look to the side and see that someone has tried to plant flowers and didn't succeed. They succeeded planting them-but I can tell a car drove over them and even if it didn't the flowers would still have died because of all the pollution. I close my eyes and listen, but all I hear is the traffic and a few angry drivers. With my eyes still closed, I take a deep breath in-and immediately start to cough. Yuk.
If the Earth laughs in flowers, I want to cry too.
Walking home from school. Everywhere I look I see a different colour-green grass, blue sky, and flowers in just about every shade you can imagine. If look down I'll see the cracked footpath, weeds sticking out here and there. If I look up I see the tops of the trees, the sun, the blue sky, and a colourful rainbow that could pass for a massive slide. A few people walk pass each one smiling. I look to the side and see the paddocks filled with sheep, horses or cows. I close my eyes and listen, and I hear the birds, the horses and my feet crunching along the path. With my eyes still closed, I take a deep breath, and the air smells of sweetness and cherry blossoms.
Where I live, the Earth laughs in flowers louder than ever.
What d'ya think? Which one do you like better? Which ending do you like better? Does the second story sound too cheesy? Would you like me to write more? Please comment!
-CherryDiva
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2 comments:
those are really good!
Sometimes when I'm walking home I like to do stuff like that - turn what I see into a story.
e.g.. [I see a tree]
The oak tree had a thick trunk, where young children hide while playing games. The green leaves were slowly and gradually getting brown.. falling softly to the damp ground...
anyhow, you get the gist!
spain is amazing. I love it. There is so much culture!
you have to go there one day. if you're parents aren't as keen, go with a bunch of friends some day. malaga & barcelona are bursting with art, music and culture!
or just try leaving some tourist leaflets around the house, leaving your computer monitor on some spanish sites..etc!!
xoxo
kate
Hi Cherry Diva. Both your endings are really good, but I think the last one is best. They're not cheesy one bit!
By the way, my lolasland name is UltraViolet***. It'd be great if you could add me as a friend. I tried to find you but I didn't know which one was you. There's a lot of Cherry Divas in lolas land!
Keep smiling and keep writing!
xxxx
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